Zipperland

To my love, Julie

Please come back. I miss you so much. I am so sorry for all the things I have put you through. You are the strength that gives me reason to live.

I am sorry for all the words that I said to you. You know if I could take them back I would. I only say these things to try to hide the hurt that you may have caused me. I never mean for those things I say to be taken to heart, there just words spoken when I am frustrated at the situation.

I am sorry for all the times it seemed that I took your feeling for granted. You’re right, I should listen to you more but I truly know what you’re feeling inside and it pains me so to be reminded of it. I promises if you give me a chance that I will start to take the time to really listen to how you feel. I will also try to express how I feel to you so you won’t think that I don’t care.

I am sorry for not giving you the words that you wanted to hear. You’re right when you said that I should have told you that I wanted you to stay here with me instead of trying to push you into playing my game. This time you have won and I submit to you fully. You staying here is all I have ever wanted and all I have ever needed. I now feel so hollow inside with out you. Last night I slept in half-hour increments with an hour of waking in-between, worrying about what I have done. I deserve it but with much regret.

I promise that I will try to be a better person for you. I will work at being there more for you with the children but you know it can be hard at times for me. I never lied to you and said I would be a good parent, I just know that I haven’t got it in me but were I have failed you in support with the kids I have made up for that in giving all of you the security that you all needed. I went ahead a used everything I had to get you and your family in a permanent house so that they could enjoy a stable life and not be bounced around like you were. You must give me credit for giving you and your children a better life because I have. You know that I think of them as my own it is they who don’t think of me as a father. I have tried to help raised them for the last ten years and have been there for them which is more then anyone can say about there paternal fathers.

I have tried to take care of the other problem that plagues this household in the only way I can. I worry about the feeling that I have for him and when I look inside myself I am truly ashamed. It will be taken care of shortly like I promised but you need to give me time. I also can’t go one feeling like a prisoner in are home because of him. I talked to his mother last night and gave it to her straight. I let her know how I truly feel about him and told how I resented that he has totally destroyed our lives in the last three years. She has been let known that I am done with the whole situation and cannot go on for any longer. She got mad at me for telling her how I feel about him and then turned around and in not so many words told me she felt the same why too. I do feel said that he has to live places that have no love for him but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t go on living like this anymore. It hurts me so much to see and treat you this way but I know that I to am at my end with it all.

I now realized that what I have been giving for the longest time is not what it has been that you needed. I am so sorry that I have such a hard time talking about our feelings together and that It takes something of this magnitude to wake me up to reality. If you would give me a second chance I promise to you that I will never take for granted again. With all the stress that we have been through the past few years I have seemed to withdraw from you a bit but I have never stopped cherishing you. I am a weak person without you and need you as much as you need me to get through all of this. I can’t do this alone any more just as you have told me that you can’t. Your right that are communication has went downhill lately but that has been because I have been so lost and ready to give up. You have shown me that it is not you that I want to give up on but yet this is how I make you feel. I promise to try harder if you give me another chance and to stand up and not be the weakest link in our relationship.

Ten years ago I met the most beautiful love of my life. I promised to always take care of you and I have failed in the most simplest of needs. If I could take back the last few years of our lives I would and I would try my hardest to be there for you emotionally like you need.

Please reconsider me, for you have shown me where I have failed you.

There’s this podcast that I listen to called “Get This”. It is from Triple M radio in Australia. It features Tony Martin, Ed Kavalee and Richard “Armitage Shanks” Marsland. They have made a Limited Edition CD called Illegal Download. There is only 1000’s copies of this and it is only available to callers and hopefully e-mailers of the show. It contains a lot of the stuff that they couldn’t put on the website or have in the podcast so I have missed out. I would sell one of “me plums” for one of these.

I became a fan of MMM from my forum friend Eve who suggested it for podcasts. Since the first show I heard I was hooked. The premise of the show is to talk to a different co-host every day, discuss ultra geeky things and make you laugh out loud.

Tony Martin comes from a small town in New Zealand that was so boring, the only activity on the weekend was for the kids to do burnouts around the towns giant wooden bottle. Add a flood and humor ensues.
Tony is the writer of the book “Lolly Scramble: A Memoir of Little Consequence” which is next to impossible to get here in the States.

Ed Kavalee is the man of the broken promises. He also is part of the cast of “Thank God Your Here” and the KFC ads. While he’s not quite a pro on the ping-pong table he is the master of the crap gifts. The thing I want to know is “Do they make burlaps sacks big enough for you?”

Richard Marsland has about as many nicknames as he has buttons on his panel. He is always ready for any sound at a moments notice.

The official Get This web page is here GET THIS HOMEPAGE
On it you will find various show notes and a great library of some of the soundclips from the show.

For those who want to know the podcast feed is http://podcasts.triplem.com.au/get_this.xml

BTW- Just in case anyone from the Get This team reads this I wanted to let you know that I saw Howard Jones in concert back in the early 90’s. It was him and a grand piano (no synth). My Friend Tone worked for a ticket agent and received them for free. The bad part was he also had tickets to David Byrne a few nights later and took someone else to that. I never forgave him.

Today is a snowday. I am off work today and I get to go out and play in the snow. Over the last 2 days we have received just less than 7″ here in the valley. We haven’t had any real snow here in Spokane for a few years and I am hoping this is the start of a real winter.
For Photo’s of my Exciting Morning,

Well after a week on vacation I went back to work today. Vacation was good; I did nothing for a whole week! The Sweetie and I had time together until the children got home from school, and then it was back to the evening grind of transporting the children to their activities.

On Thanksgiving I smoked the turkey on the BBQ. Started it at 8:30 in the morning. It was frigging cold with the temperatures around freezing the whole time I smoked it. When you do this with a BBQ you need to stay outside with it the whole time in case of any flare-ups that might turn the bird into a charcoal lump of indigestible crap.

Friday I went to my local sporting goods store to get a new pair or work pants. At the store Chuck Buck of BUCK KNIVES was their with a booth setup. He was there signing knives and just doing general PR work. Buck knives have just recently moved to Post Falls, ID from California. I carry a Buck knife with me all of the time as everyone who knows me could tell you, so I thought I would get him to autograph mine. He used an engraver to autograph it.

I use this knife everyday and have loved it very much; it was a proud moment for me to meet Mr. Buck again. I had met him before when I was around 9-10 years old. He and his father had a booth setup at a NRA convention that was in Seattle around 1980. I watched his father take my dads knife and re-work a blade that had broke on it. It was at this time I became a Buck owner for life.

Well I finally got around to doing this. I am not quite sure what I will be doing with this site so you will have to bear with me until I figure out a format. The look may be changing here shortly to give it a more fun look. My good friend Tone (Bio) has set this up for me and is also hosting me.

Lately I have been having fun thinking of a Logo for this site. While dinking around with PhotoShop I came up with a few I like.

Not sure if any of these will make any more appearances here or not. More are to come.

The only thing happening this week is VACATION!!!!! We will see if I actually get anything done this week or not.

Welcome to zipperland.

We’ll post something intelligent later (perhaps).

Until then… eat more fiber for a healthy poo.

**This post was made by my good friend Bio, who without his help this site could not be possible.**